As I write this, both my boys are napping peacefully in their room. Sometimes the stars align and they will both nap at the same time. My attempted French braid from this morning is a mess after lying down with CC on his bed before he fell asleep. I’m not sure who fell asleep first, him or me. Both of us had closed our eyes after I had whisper-read to him the new books I got from the library today. I whisper-read to him so as not to wake his baby brother sleeping in the crib just 5 feet away…but also because I’ve found whisper reading to be a surefire way to put CC to sleep. I guess I must have dozed off for 5 minutes. I woke up to the soft breathing of CC in my ear. Before I got up to leave, I turned my head to look at that perfect little face, eyes shut tight showing off the long lashes that I wish he had inherited from me. His eyes fluttered open briefly when I tried to quietly roll off the bed, but quickly closed again when I stroked his cheek and told him to go back to sleep.
As I tiptoed out of the room, I snuck a peek at the little boy in the crib who just turned ten months old two days ago. He’s sleeping on his side, facing the wall, his chubby bare legs stacked one on top of the other. He’s my baby, but he won’t be a baby for much longer, growing up as fast as he possibly can to keep up with his big brother. Oh these boys. My heart strings are being tugged so hard I almost can’t leave the room. Why did no one tell me that this business of raising little human beings could make you so sentimental?
There’s so much I want for my boys – for them to be happy, to know that they’re loved, to never have to know pain or suffering. But I know that some things are just not in my power to give and it’s not up to me to plan out the course of their lives. So the one thing that I would ask of Him who is their heavenly Father and mine is that my boys would grow up not just being brothers in the flesh…that one day they would know each other as brothers in Christ. That they would go from brothers who play together to brothers who pray together. From sharing snacks and fighting over toys to sharing the gospel and fighting for the kingdom. From being fierce competitors to being fervent companions. That they would lead each other to the Lord during those years when it’s considered uncool to listen to the advice of your parents. That they would stand together against the tide of the world when their friends are all going another way. That they would pursue Christ with all their heart and be young men who would turn the age and bring the Lord back. That’s what I want for my boys.