Once in awhile someone I know will comment to me how I’ve lost weight. And they don’t say it in the way of, “Wow, you look great. You’ve lost weight!” No, by their tone it’s more like, “You look wasted and haggard. Are you eating at all?” It usually comes from older women around my mother’s age, and they usually say it in the exact same tone my mother would use. Whenever I see my mother (and I don’t see her that often now being that she lives on the other side of the country), her first words to me would undoubtedly be about my weight. If she said that I gained weight (usually with a happy grin), that was her giving me her stamp of approval. It meant that she thought I looked healthy and happy. If she said I lost weight (usually in a serious tone with brows furrowed), that meant that she was worried that I wasn’t taking care of myself and that I must be overtired. For those of you who have Asian mothers – you know what I mean.
I know that people sometimes tell me I’m losing weight out of motherly concern, so I’m by no means offended (so don’t worry if you were one of those people). It’s just that I never know how to respond to a comment like, “You’ve lost weight.” Should I say “Thanks”? But it obviously wasn’t meant as a compliment. Maybe I should say “Sorry,” but that makes it sound like I lost weight on purpose to make people worried. How about “I’ll try to eat more?” But if they only knew how much I already do eat. Since CC was diagnosed with failure to thrive, our entire household has been on a full-fat diet – whole milk, whole milk yogurt and cheese, butter galore. Do you see my dilemma? I usually end up just saying, “Yeah” and then changing the subject.
I think both my husband and I have fast metabolisms, a genetic disposition that we’ve probably passed on to our little son. No matter how hard we try and how much we eat, we just can’t seem to put on the weight that will make our doctors or mothers happy. Maybe they should have diagnosed our whole family with “failure to thrive.” I guess being an underweight family is better than being an overweight family. I wonder if there’s a weight watchers program for helping you gain weight.
My parents are due for a visit next month. I’ve got three weeks to pack on the pounds to make sure I get my mother’s stamp of approval. Wish me luck…or better yet, send me some cheesecake.