I think I’ve finally succeeded in establishing a good sleep time routine for Christopher, both for his naps and going down at bed time. We usually read a book together in the glider until he loses interest and then I put him down in his crib, turn on his sleep sheep, and sing him his bed time song until he starts to doze off. Most days he’ll go to sleep pretty quickly; on rare days he’ll fight it as long as he can and it seems like mother and son are in battle of wills of who will give in first. Usually I lose the battle. Even though he’s only six months old, I can already tell he’s a strong willed boy and has quite a temper. I can already envision the toddler temper tantrums that I’m sure are to come.
I’m not sure if it was me or Larry that first started singing it, but CC’s bed time song is I Corinthians 13:4-8a (definition of love). I oftentimes feel like I’m singing it more to myself than to him. Especially on the days when CC is being particularly uncooperative, as I’m sitting next to his crib and singing the song for the 20th time, I appreciate being reminded that yes, love suffers long (even through all the crying bouts), love is kind (not exasperated), love is not provoked (no matter how fussy CC gets), and that love never falls away.
As I sing to CC in my efforts to calm him down, I feel like the Lord is singing to me to calm me down. In the singing comes His speaking that no matter how much I love this little human being, my motherly human love will eventually at some point still fall short. My love doesn’t suffer long, it’s not always kind, and it is easily provoked. What I need is His love, the divine agape love, the love that never falls away to fill me and be the real mother in me. In the times when my love is being tried, I also start to see myself in relation to the Lord. I’m exposed that many times, in my Christian experience, I’m exactly like CC when he’s cranky – stubborn and uncooperative. The Lord wants to do something in me, but I engage Him in a battle of wills, insisting on my way. Thankfully, the Lord is also strong willed and does not often let me win. That’s one battle I don’t mind losing.